Imagining the life that you want is the first step in manifesting it

I admit, my first several years after college were a convoluted path of finding my life purpose and myself. Looking back, there were feelings of conflict and some fear at each new turn, yet there was so much curiosity, excitement and joy within it all, that it out-weighed anything I was struggling with and kept me moving forward.

I rode on possibility, determination, and a dream. So when I hear a client say, “’X’ is my passion, but I can’t see how I can make to work” or “I’m too old to go back to school,” or “I’m really into ‘X’ field, but I don’t believe I’m smart enough to get a degree in it or be successful at it,” I know that she has set herself up for defeat.

I’m a firm believer that anyone can do/be anything they want. I know that finding satisfying work is a vital element in creating a life you love. I have found that it takes calculated risk and sometimes a little luck to develop work that is in alignment with your values and allows you to share your skills and expertise. With tenacity, finding work you love can be accomplished. I have proven that to myself over and over. I didn’t always find my interests to be easy and natural to come by. I usually had to work much harder than my peers to understand and apply information due to a learning disability. Yet it didn’t stop me.

In all that I was learning, I practiced and practiced until I became the expert. I didn’t want to end up middle-aged and broken, in a field that didn’t bring me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. I had witnessed members of my own family complain about their work for decades and I was determined not to be that person in my own life. And believe me, this is more the norm than not. In fact, 70% of US workers surveyed in a Gallup poll in 2013 either hated or were disengaged from their jobs. That’s a great amount of time and energy invested in dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

I know that all too often it’s not as simple as pressing a button to activate a desire to have a fulfilled life. Sometimes life itself gets in the way. Limited belief patterns and habits cause road hurdles, which can hold you back; and it’s only when you confront them head on, that you can then move forward to put a love of life and work back into your life.

As a human on this planet, you are meant to constantly and consistently learn and grow. It is natural to have many emotions, particularly fear, when life changes need to happen. Learning to trust you, above all, is an important part of the process. It allows you to stay in the moment, rather than getting rapped up in past failings or a future that is unknown.

Preparation

Here’s a useful exercise to begin to assist you in finding your life’s work. Write your answers in a journal, so that you have a record and reminder of what you are creating for yourself.

First look at where you are currently:

- Does your work move you? Does it have significance for you? Does it reflect your values?

- Does the work love you? How does your work affect you mentally and physically? Do you feel contented and happy at the end of the day or does it leave with you feeling stressed out and drained?

- Does the work have love in it? What kind of energy goes into the work you do? Is there a sense of purpose and positivity or obligation and duty?

Now answer the following questions:

- What do I care about or have a real interest in?

- What did I enjoy doing as a child?

- What did I imagine at a young age that I wanted to be when I grew up?

- Have other people noticed or commented on what I’m good at?

- Is there a hobby or interest or cause that I take pleasure in?

- How could I make a career out of what I love doing?

- What am I engaged in when time seems to just fly by?

- What kind of people would I like to be around me and my work?

- What can I do right now to take a step closer to doing what I love?

- Whom do I admire that is doing what they love in their lives and I can role model from?

- Whom can I ask to support me and keep me accountable on my path?

Meeting with a trusted friend or mentor—or journaling on your own—can help with uncovering the answers to these important questions and set you on a course for creating a work life that feeds you and provides value for others.

-Tanya Vallianos

Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice in Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at www.innersunhealingarts.com or 970-420-9504.