Mindfulness: The Secret to Happiness
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Mindfulness helps bring balance, stability and ultimately more happiness to our lives
In the past 18 years working in the psychotherapy field, the prominent and most obvious complaint that is presented to me is that people are not happy in their lives. Whether it’s career, or relationship or a myriad of many different aspects of their lives, people are wanting to make changes, so that they can feel more alive, joyous and a greater sense of peace and ultimately, happiness.
Why are we so unhappy?
We are often trapped and rapped-up in our own negative thoughts and beliefs. These ruminating thoughts circulate round and round maybe for hours, days, and even years, keeping us disconnected from ourselves and causing a great deal of suffering.
As a way too rationalize the egoic mind, humans tend to think that things, life, emotions are happening to them. We tend to look for reasons outside of ourselves as to why we feel so miserable. This becomes the default coping mechanism as a means of survival that starts in childhood. Unfortunately, in time this strategy doesn’t hold up very well. We become more and more dissatisfied; we become chronically ill, our relationships dismantle and we find ourselves in meaningless jobs.
Mindfulness practice has a very direct way of stopping the ongoing commentary by directing our focus to the present moment. It is a way to ‘nip it in the bud,’ so to say; by not identifying with the story that follows any negative event, or underlying belief.
We are able to ‘still’ our minds. Once we’re able to do this, we cease creating stories and the suffering ends.
Staying present in the moment, we are able to really notice all the beauty around us. We have a more profound level of gratitude for it and all of life. This ability to be the observer takes us out of a “this is happening to me” mentality. We are brought closer into connection with out higher selves and all of creation. This is our true nature.
How can I start feeling better?
Take some time to be in nature finding a quiet place where you are not disturbed or distracted by others. Find an object to focus on, such as a flower, tree, bird, or water. For however long, bring your attention to that which you’re focused on and the cycle of your breath. Allow all of your senses to be a part of the experience. Let go of any urges to think about it or understand it. Instead, allow your mind to become quieted and just notice what you notice. If you observe that you have come back to ‘thinking’, gently bring your attention back to your breath and the nature experience.
When you are finished, you can have an honest curiosity about your quiet time. Were you stressed, sad, or irritated? More than likely – you were not. And you became more aware of the possibility of happiness. With each time of choosing to stay present in the moment and finding quietude within yourself, the more likely that you are on your way to a life that feels balanced, healthy and happy.
-Tanya Vallianos
Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice in Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at www.innersunhealingarts.com or 970-420-9504.
