The Wisdom Of the Seasons Help Us Transform
/
Think of the Seasons as a metaphor for the phases of any life transition journey. If we see change as a naturally occurring event - much like the change of seasons - then we can embrace change as a gift and an invitation to improve and enhance our lives. Butterflies also remind us to never be afraid of spreading our wings (having dreams) and flying as high as we can (achieving those dreams and not limiting ourselves.) They aren’t just pretty creatures, they’re also a great reminder of what matters most in life and what true beauty means.
Currently we are between Winter Solstice (Catching Sparks of Hope in the Darkness) and Late Winter (Exploring and Experimenting to Firm Up Your Vision for the Future).
During your Winter Solstice time and beyond, focus your attention on:
• Turning things upside down to look at your life from new perspectives
• Drawing a line in the sand and saying "enough is enough"
• Telling a new story about your past to find new doors to the future
At the same time, do what you can to avoid these detours:
• Avoiding your quiet time
• Being in a toxic environment
• Being wedded to one solution
While you are in Late Winter moving towards Spring, focus your attention on:
• Following your insights wherever they take you
• Clearing out the old in your space, your to-do list, your relationships, and your mind
• Experimenting and exploring to firm up your vision for the future
At the same time, do what you can to avoid these detours:
• Ignoring your insights
• Doing what you've always done because it's more comfortable than stretching
• Charging ahead without a sense of where you are going
Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice in Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at www.innersunhealingarts.com or 970-420-9504
Water Element Has a Message For You
/
The ancients had a profound understanding of emotions and characteristics. They noticed human nature reflected in the four principle forces of nature; earth, air, fire, and water. In their wisdom, they attributed personality traits and emotions to each of the elements to help students of life to understand the conscious mind.
With the element of water, it is fluid and adaptable and dictates one’s ability to manage any given situation. This is often referred to as going with the flow. In ancient China and India, the element of water was said to be the "Chi" energy that flows throughout the body. This energy is able to be directed through exercises such as Tai Chi and yoga, as well as healing modalities like acupuncture.
The element of water tests our ability to be fluid. When we are in right alignment with water, then we are able to adapt more readily to any given situation, small or large, slightly frustrating or largely challenging.
To work with water, learn to understand how water flows as it takes on many different mutations. It can flow gently down a stream, or tumble in a rage along a river. The sea rolls gently against the shore, or violently crashes against the rocks. Here we are able to see the metaphorical wisdom, the yin-yang expression of duality in the nature of water – everything that exists has a polar opposite. Sometimes we must be more forceful, other times quiet and gentle; and then everything in between. All serve us depending on the circumstance.
Water is also adaptable. Water put it in a vessel such as a jug or a bottle, changes shape and fits perfectly to the form of the vessel. Again, we can identify with water’s properties when we are moving through our life journey, seeing the symbolism of how we can adapt to any given situation – just like water.
Water has been traditionally used in ceremony for cleansing and clearing. Ancient and present- day shamans and priests pray for and utilize water to wash away sins, concerns and difficult situations. The next time you take a bath or shower, make an intention. As the water washes over you, honor the water by asking for it to cleanse and clear you, and to bring you the ability to flow more easily throughout your day. The more that we can be in harmony with Nature’s elements, the more that we will see life working with us in our favor.
Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice in Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at www.innersunhealingarts.com or 970-420-9504.
Leave It To Beaver Medicine
/
Beavers are ingenious builders, constructing huge dams that can change the course of entire rivers and creating new tributaries that bring water to nature areas that are in need of nourishment. Beaver is a primary aspect of keeping our ecosystems in checks and balances. Her association with water makes Beaver an analogy for our ability to build our own dreams to come true. Beaver tells us to build on them as if the dream is already real. Change the course of how things flow in our lives by bringing organization and structure in meeting goals, and thus coaxing our dreams into physical reality.
Beaver represents hard work. The dams that Beaver builds are sometimes eight feet tall and span across entire bodies of water. This kind of accomplishment doesn't happen overnight, nor does it happen by just wishing it to completion. Beaver’s message is, “you must commit to and work diligently towards your goal, otherwise it will not come to fruition.” But within the hard work, Beaver still finds balance in her life and is flexible with how the course runs. Beaver does not ignore spending time with family and commits to building friendships as well. Despite Beaver’s high motivation toward goal-keeping, she knows when to have fun and when to rest.
When we pay attention to Beaver's behavior and characteristics, we can compare or associate those features to our own behavior. By doing so, we can match up, mimic, or employ beaver qualities in our own lives with a goal to stimulate natural and lasting solutions for ourselves. For example, if we are "stuck" in our lives, a little meditation on Beaver Medicine may show us how to "chew" through the barrier on our path. Working with animal meanings and animal totems also helps us move into a natural cycle of life, which is always an excellent guide to finding solutions.
Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice in Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at www.innersunhealingarts.com or 970-420-9504.
Nature – A Soft Place to Land
/
Connecting to Nature is the journey back home to self, finding inner peace, and soul-deepening connection. When you slow down at Nature’s pace, your heart rate and breathing slow down. You relax and walk more leisurely and quietly. You become more hyper-aware of all that is around you.
Nature, in itself becomes a mindfulness practice, where you can notice more of the details - the cracks and crevices in the bark of trees, the way the leaves fall in a particular way and direction with the breeze, or the sounds of your feet softly engaging with the earth.
It is here that you are more available to tap into the spirit of the land, the plants, the animal and insect world. You notice what you are drawn to, what speaks to you. You take a moment to be near the tree or flower or insect that has your interest.
Now you turn your awareness toward your heart, focusing on the gentle pattern of breath flowing in and out. From this loving place of connection, spend time basking in Nature’s radiant beauty. Give appreciation for the time spent with it as well as allowing for the receiving of any guidance, support or healing within its presence.
It is from these Nature experiences that you are able to access your beautiful memories at anytime for they are always within you. They are able to support you through daily stresses. They are a reminder of your connection to something bigger. And they show you a deeper part of whom you are. Indeed it is an inner place to rejoice in.
-Tanya Vallianos
Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice in Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at www.innersunhealingarts.com or 970-420-9504.
True Blessings
/
Yes, it’s true. Our beautiful, sentient equine friends know how to connect with the Universe at Soul level much more readily than us humans. Why? They know how to be in the moment and appreciate and surrender to whatever is occurring right then and there, The world “just IS” to them. For us – it’s not so easy.
We have these large frontal lobes that think a lot. And we tend not to be very connected to our bodies, which tell us what is going on at the sensory/emotional/intuitive/nervous system level. This is where horses mostly hang out. And they’re really good at it. They can show us how to be more deeply connected by being more mindful, by being more in the present moment and surrendering to what “Is.”
If you want to experience more connection at a Soul level, incorporating gratitude into your everyday life will help you open your heart and have relationship with your true essence – that of Love. In each moment when you are present with the idea of being blessed that you have food to eat, a home to live in, that your family loves you, express thanks to the Universe for all that you have, however big or small.
After all, you are the Universe experiencing itself, so any experience can help you reach higher levels of consciousness. Even if you experience something negative, still you can try to remain thankful. Valuable lessons are often disguised as tough teachers. These too are gifts to be treasured despite the challenges.
-Tanya Vallianos
Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice in Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at www.innersunhealingarts.com or 970-420-9504.
You Are Never Alone
/
Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice in Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at www.innersunhealingarts.com or 970-420-9504.
Simply Being
/
It can be challenging to allow ourselves to slow down and find quiet time. If you haven’t noticed, there tends to be a cultural acceptance of “busyness” here in the States. It is a paradigm based on doing rather than being. And if we are not accomplishing or acquiring, then something must be wrong. We often feel guilty when we’re not making something happen and can easily be drawn into feelings of unworthiness in comparison to our peers’ accomplishments.
When we are not in the company of others, we often find ourselves distracted by technology in one form or another – phones, computers, TVs. Subconsciously, we are aware that we are afraid of what we may find beneath the myriad of layers of busyness, external stimulation and achievement. Yet, without solitude and quiet time, we miss the opportunity for inner growth and renewal.
It is in the quiet moments that we can see things more clearly. We can leave behind the demands of work, people, family, media, and life. In the West, there is nothing that teaches and fosters us to go inward, thus we must claim that part of ourselves on our own. It is within those moments that we devout to our soul, our spirit through meditation, prayer, and time in nature, where stillness is noticed and appreciated.
At anytime still, we can capture moments in between meetings and phone calls to just “be.” Close the door to your office or go for a neighborhood walk around the block and breath in that alone time. Daily we can practice doing nothing. Let it come organically, in the moment with little forethought or striving. Allow it to come from a deeper place from within. And mostly just enjoy.
-Tanya Vallianos
Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice in Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at www.innersunhealingarts.com or 970-420-9504.
A Valentine’s Message: Eagle and The Reminder of The Awakened Heart
/
Eagles, a symbol of enduring strength, freedom and love. Photo: Anne Whitehurst
Here, in Colorado, we are blessed every year with the appearance of Bald Eagle couples nesting. They can be found commonly amongst the many lakes and reservoirs that dot the high plains. There are volunteers that spend time tracking and counting individuals; there are photography clubs that gather to capture their beauty at rest and in flight; and there is an Eagle Festival to honor Bald Eagles’ magnificence in the nature of all creatures.
Yet, there was a time, not so long ago, that seeing a Bald Eagle in Colorado may have been a rare occurrence. In the early 1970’s there were fewer than 450 nesting pairs of Bald Eagles in the lower 48 United States, and fewer than 10 in the entire state of Colorado. But with conservation efforts, the banning of harmful pesticides such as DDT and an Endangered Species designation, the Bald Eagle has made a brilliant recovery at around 143,000 nationwide today. It’s odd that our country’s honored mascot has had such a struggle to survive. Hence, Eagle as guide, can be seen as a reflection of our own struggles and our ability to survive through the cycles of life.
What a gift to be able to connect yearly with this beautiful being who has so much to teach us. When looking for Bald Eagle, it can be found in the environs of old growth cottonwoods, along creeks, lakes and stream ways, and along borders or buffers around those zones. Eagle lays its eggs in February, after a courting session that usually revolves, synchronistically enough, around the week of Valentines’ Day. Both male and female eagles incubate the eggs and share the duties of raising their young.
Bald Eagle traits can be viewed symbolically to assist humans toward being more successful and wise within their own lives. For instance, in Native American lore, Eagle (Thunderbird) Totem is viewed as the chief over all the winged creatures. Eagle conveys the powers and messages of the Spirit; it is human's connection to Spirit as it has the power and strength to fly higher than any other bird. Eagle is also grounded to Earth, connecting to the land, building nests, hunting, and forming and raising families year after year. Eagle shows us how to live in balance between the realms of Spirit and Earth. Bald Eagle brings the message of life renewed since it is associated with the east winds - the direction of spring, dawn and rebirth.
If you have been going through some challenges, Eagle medicine not only signals a new beginning, it also creates the stamina and resilience to endure any difficulties along the way. If Eagle has appeared, it bestows freedom and courage to look ahead, to give up a limited perspective, to release self from comfortable, familiar thought patterns, and fly into a larger world of unknown realms, and to do all of this with love. Summon Eagle when you are about to embark on a challenge, a life change or transition, or a creative endeavor. Ask Eagle to give you the gift of clear vision and the strength with which you can see the truth, and to be patient with yourself and the outcome.
Eagle shows you how to look above so you are able to touch Grandfather Sun with your heart, to accept the Shadow as much as the Light, and to be grounded and in harmony with Grandmother Earth. Eagle Wise Guide gives you the permission to be free to reach the heights of joy that your heart sings for. Eagle shows you that you not only can survive – you can thrive. And you can rise above, to love.
And so with Valentine’s Day upon us, I give you Eagle’s message and it’s connection to one's loving nature, the rebirthing of Self, taking flight to higher consciousness and the magic of the Divine Awakened Heart.
-Tanya Vallianos
Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice in Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at www.innersunhealingarts.com or 970-420-9504.
Mindfulness: The Secret to Happiness
/
Mindfulness helps bring balance, stability and ultimately more happiness to our lives
In the past 18 years working in the psychotherapy field, the prominent and most obvious complaint that is presented to me is that people are not happy in their lives. Whether it’s career, or relationship or a myriad of many different aspects of their lives, people are wanting to make changes, so that they can feel more alive, joyous and a greater sense of peace and ultimately, happiness.
Why are we so unhappy?
We are often trapped and rapped-up in our own negative thoughts and beliefs. These ruminating thoughts circulate round and round maybe for hours, days, and even years, keeping us disconnected from ourselves and causing a great deal of suffering.
As a way too rationalize the egoic mind, humans tend to think that things, life, emotions are happening to them. We tend to look for reasons outside of ourselves as to why we feel so miserable. This becomes the default coping mechanism as a means of survival that starts in childhood. Unfortunately, in time this strategy doesn’t hold up very well. We become more and more dissatisfied; we become chronically ill, our relationships dismantle and we find ourselves in meaningless jobs.
Mindfulness practice has a very direct way of stopping the ongoing commentary by directing our focus to the present moment. It is a way to ‘nip it in the bud,’ so to say; by not identifying with the story that follows any negative event, or underlying belief.
We are able to ‘still’ our minds. Once we’re able to do this, we cease creating stories and the suffering ends.
Staying present in the moment, we are able to really notice all the beauty around us. We have a more profound level of gratitude for it and all of life. This ability to be the observer takes us out of a “this is happening to me” mentality. We are brought closer into connection with out higher selves and all of creation. This is our true nature.
How can I start feeling better?
Take some time to be in nature finding a quiet place where you are not disturbed or distracted by others. Find an object to focus on, such as a flower, tree, bird, or water. For however long, bring your attention to that which you’re focused on and the cycle of your breath. Allow all of your senses to be a part of the experience. Let go of any urges to think about it or understand it. Instead, allow your mind to become quieted and just notice what you notice. If you observe that you have come back to ‘thinking’, gently bring your attention back to your breath and the nature experience.
When you are finished, you can have an honest curiosity about your quiet time. Were you stressed, sad, or irritated? More than likely – you were not. And you became more aware of the possibility of happiness. With each time of choosing to stay present in the moment and finding quietude within yourself, the more likely that you are on your way to a life that feels balanced, healthy and happy.
-Tanya Vallianos
Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice in Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at www.innersunhealingarts.com or 970-420-9504.
In Our Digital Era, Can Horses Help Us Create Deeper Social Connections?
/
As humans we are hardwired to be social beings. We cannot survive without contact and connection to other members of our species. Without real human contact we simply cannot develop, and evolve in the way nature intended.
Research conducted by Matthew Lieberman at UCLA in his first book, "Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect”, shows that being social and connecting with others is as fundamental a human need as food, shelter, and water. For example, Lieberman discovered that we feel social pain, such as the loss of a relationship, in the same part of the brain that we feel physical pain. The importance of social connection is so strong, he writes, that when we are rejected or experience other social "pain," our brains "hurt" in the same way they do when we feel physical pain. That is why we are profoundly shaped by our social environment and that we suffer greatly when our social bonds are threatened or severed.
One landmark study, “Social Relationships and Health”, by House, Landis, & Umberson, published in Science, showed that lack of social connection is a greater detriment to health than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure. Research by Steve Cole, Professor of Medicine and Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences in the UCLA School of Medicine, shows that genes impacted by loneliness also code for immune function and inflammation.
We live in a world in which more people are connected than ever before through social media. Yet despite that connection, there is still a fundamental disconnect between people - the most basic type of communication, human face-to- face interaction, is becoming less and less frequent. In a study conducted by the Pew Research Center, 54 percent of those surveyed said they text their friends at least once a day, while only 33% said they talk face-to-face with their friends on a consistent basis.
We are sacrificing the experiences and understanding of real world interactions that are necessary in our development for a mere connection that at best is superficial. Social media forces upon us a feeling of intimacy and closeness that doesn’t actually exist. Online relationships provide opportunities for less risky interactions that also require less giving of oneself. An online interaction does not require that we compromise our needs or delay gratification because friends are always available on Facebook, and when we’re finished with them, we simply click off. Choosing this one-dimensional interpersonal relationship potentially reduces online friends into self-objects that only feed the user. Concern for the other is not required.
In Alone Together-Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other, Psychologist Sherry Turkle shows us how social media has brought forth a drastic change in how we treat relationships, and for the worst. And in a study of roughly 300 people by the Salford Business School they found that these social networks are exacerbating negative emotions. The surveyors found that if you are predisposed to anxiety it seems that the pressures from technology, create even more insecurity and more feelings of being overwhelmed.
This corroborates the idea that social media cannot be used to replace the interactions that take place in the real world. It may seem that these digital interactions are satisfactory on the surface, but deep within us, within our neurology, we cannot escape the truth that these digital connections are not enough.
Emma Seppala is Science Director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education at Stanford University and Co-Director of the Yale College Emotional Intelligence Project at Yale University. And states that, “A sense of connection is internal.” Researchers agree that the benefits of connection are actually linked to our subjective sense of connection. In other words, if you feel connected to others on the inside, you reap the benefits thereof. One way that we can re-learn this ability to formulate deeper connections is with the help of horses.
Horses Know How to Establish Deep Bonding and Reciprocal Relationships
Horses have a rich history in their relationship with humans. Across different cultures and eras they have been utilized for work, show, cultural rituals, companionship, and continue to serve in many of these roles today. With the popularity of Equine-Assisted Therapy/Coaching programs within the past few years, there’s been a genuine interest in equine behavior in relationship to humans.
Like humans, horses are highly social animals, with defined roles within their herds. They have distinct personalities, attitudes, and moods. They form friendships and are protective of each other. They are tuned into the environment and other horse emotions, due to the fact that they are prey animals and are always watchful.
Social interactions between horses are how horses develop their bonds. They are able to create respectful social behavior, relationships, and harmonious communications with one another. This is accomplished through food sharing, bathing together, playing activities, mutual grooming and learning how to fit in with the social structure of the herd at large. It is similar to the way people learn how to connect and communicate with one another.
Horses communicate almost entirely through body language. Humans are primarily verbal. If a human has an interest in a true bond with the horse, then silence becomes one’s best approach. Low nickering, cooing and quietude are the staples of a horse's life. Thus, we can connect at their level by creating similar sounds and movements and being present with them as they are. These are empathic responses for deeper bonding.
In bonded horse and human relationships there is appreciation, the capacity to forgive, camaraderie and the desire to behave cooperatively, and an open corridor of honest communication that transcends the limits of speech and sign language. To be part of this kind of relationship with a horse requires effort and a good deal of learned and developed skills on the part of the human. The horse and human are partners, each recognizing the other's skills and abilities. They are also painfully honest and hold people responsible for their behaviors.
Hence, horses provide vast opportunities for metaphorical learning for humans, since they are able to acutely pick up on thought-forms and emotions and then mirror them back through their body language, behavior, and mood. This ability of horses to be blatantly perceptive and honest, makes them especially powerful guides.
For humans who struggle with social interactions, working with a horse gives them much-needed practice. For many, it can be easier to create a healthy, successful relationship with a horse, than it can be with most people. Through interaction with horses, we can learn to know ourselves better. Calm, peaceful and confident or agitated, distracted and fearful will be their response depending on which we bring to them. This is all done in the moment, on the spot, when it’s happening. We begin to learn their language, and how to have authentic relationship. We can discover that some of the basic needs and concerns of horses are the same as ours. This gives us a different perspective for dealing with these issues in our own lives. And begin to develop or improve, self-confidence, trust and self-respect.
With their giving, kind and unconditional nature, we can reawaken and remember our connection with all life. We are able to re-establish our giving, compassionate nature, and receive the greater benefits that this wisdom brings.
-Tanya Vallianos
Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice. She offers bonding experiences with horses in Fort Collins, CO. 970-420-9504
