Love Self and Everything Else Follows
/
I meet many people who spend much of their lives seeking validation and happiness from the world around them. They are looking for someone or something that fill the emptiness that they feel in their lives and that can reflect back to them, “I’m a worthy, lovable and a special person”. While there is nothing intrinsically wrong with seeking the approval of others, as long as we understand that self-worth that has real, lasting merit, can only come from within.
We are often conditioned in this culture to seek happiness in things or in the people that surround us, after all, much of the modern economy revolves around the cycle of generating and satisfying needs outside of ourselves. But this is an unreliable source of happiness. There will always be some new fashion trend and people will come and go.
So instead of looking for happiness from someone else or something, we can come to realize that it’s not out there. It’s within us. Happiness isn’t an obscure concept that we’re waiting for to arrive sometime in the future. It’s available right inside us, right now, all the time. Once we can graciously accept and love who and what we are, then and only then will we have achieved true happiness.
Self-worth is simply a recognition that we are complete and whole people, and that we are okay as we are. We recognize that we do not need anything or anyone outside of ourselves to declare that we are okay as a people, and that we have the power to do it ourselves.
So take a moment and reflect on the things in your life that you allow to have power over your value as a person and remind yourself that you are worthy just as you are. You don’t need to seek approval externally or try to fill an empty void. You are beautiful as you are. When you can appreciate what you have and who you are, but not allow it to define your sense of worth, then you are well on your way to creating your own source of built-in forever happiness.
-Tanya Vallianos
Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR, NCC, EMDR III, EAP II is a psychotherapist in private practice in Fort Collins, CO. She can be reached at www.innersunhealingarts.com or 970-420-9504.
